I amaze myself sometimes. No, I amaze myself all the time by doing this over and over again. I mean someone up there has given me all the signals that this does'nt work for me! but I...i don't know how I do this & still live to tell the tale. I think i need to meet God in person and have a chat on this issue. I mean how can I possibly care so much about other people when so few care bout me! with a nightmare past I should have become more cautious with myself by now! maybe i'm just too stupid to understand. But then again I'm so completely rational, practical, solve others' problems, yet when comes to me again I do the same stupid mistake. I try to care about people fully aware of how shelfish they can turn out to be and make a mess of myself and my emotions again. Somebody gave me a nice piece of advice the other day 'emotions should be killed'! ya right! (that too at a time when the stupid me has just started to be emotional bout him). I wish he also advised me with the weapon. There's a problem with me, I'm overflowing with emotions, just hope I had a stopcock somewhere. I just spoil evething by being myself! (a little As Good As It Gets) .
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